I used to find validation and self-worth in the opinions of other people.
I did this in literally every area of my life…
HOW I ATE
I tried to copy what other people ate in an attempt to be like them and look like them. (This was of course before I understood how our bodies work and the fact that nutrition is 100% individual. This resulted in spinning my wheels. I know now that trying to eat like someone else will get you nowhere.
HOW I DRESSED
I went shopping with friends and bought what they suggested and liked – because if they thought it looked good on me, then of course it did! This resulted in a wardrobe of clothes that other people liked, but I didn’t love.
HOW I TRAINED
I used to do nothing but group fitness classes – teach them, use them as my workouts, etc. - and felt guilty if I did anything else because that’s what I was supposed to do. This got me some initial fitness gains but after piles of cardio classes, I was burnt out, tired, and carrying around extra body fat because my body was so stressed out from it all.
HOW I SHOWED UP
I even used to act a certain way, said things I thought I should say, and tried to figure out what people expected of me. If I could deliver what they expected, then I thought it would win them over and make them like me.
Boy, how quickly I learned that people’s opinions and thoughts have absolutely nothing do to with me! I presented myself as harsh, stern, and standoffish. And that wasn’t the real me.
HOW I CHANGED IT
I found (and adopted) a powerful personal statement: “I validate myself, motherf_cker.”
No longer would I look to other people for approval, acceptance, permission, or validation.
That all came from me.
All of a sudden, I started paying attention more.
And then I started making changes.
I now wear clothing that I like, that makes me feel good.
I eat foods I enjoy in quantities that support my body and my goals. I train in a way that is both enjoyable and that aligns with my goals.
I am myself 100% of the time because I’d rather put “me” out there than some weird version of me I think people want to see.
My challenge to you is this:
Pay attention.
To you.
To what makes you tick.
Tune in to what foods work, and what foods don’t.
Look and listen to how your body responds to how you’re training.
Listen to your voice and look at what you put out in the world, whether it’s what you say, what you post, or how you act.
Pay attention to what you are consuming (social media, news, books, music, radio).
Are the things you’re eating, wearing, saying, and doing REALLY you? Are they what you really want?
If not - you can change that.
This is what a lifestyle is to me. My lifestyle may have started with my food and my training, but it grew into every part of my life.
Now, it’s about being and doing ME - and loving every minute of it.
No matter where you are on your journey, I'd love to hear from you and support you! You can connect with me on Instagram @Jenn_Lucas_.
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